Caution!
by Serpentseeker
Summary: High school AU. Naruto turns up to school wrapped in caution tape. Neji finds it a little bit distracting. NaruNeji ONESHOT.


Disclaimer: I own none of these characters.

A/N: This story was written for a friend on Livejournal about a year ago. Also, the school is based on my own school (which is a bit different from an American high school) so if it sounds strange, that's probably why. Also, frozen coke is food of the gods. That is all.

* * *

Thank God for Mufti days. They were God's gift to students. And thank God for giving the school motivation for holding them by means of money. For the fourth time Neji shoved his hand in his pocket to check the money was still there. It was. Thank you again, God. He would have fallen to his knees and praised the deity but he was now fast approaching the school and there were a large number of students milling around and such an action would draw many odd looks and rumours of dubious mental health.

That must be avoided at all costs. He was a Hyuuga. He had a reputation to uphold. Even if it was his family's fault for sending him to a school with a very formal uniform and a large number of snobs.

He absolutely loathed the uniform. As soon as he graduated Neji planned to dispose of it in a very satisfying manner. Perhaps burning - they could have a burning party at Sasuke's house and dance around it like wild Indians. Good thing Sasuke had been moved up into Neji's year because if he hadn't Neji would have to wait an entire year to share the satisfying deed.

Neji entered the school gates, scowling at them as he passed. Evil, imprisoning creatures. They should be burned as well.

Suddenly a loud laugh caught his attention and Neji moved his scowl onto whoever dared to make such a joyful noise in such a soul-sucking place.

Uzumaki. Of course. The blue-eyed blond was walking with only other two blue-eyed blonds that Neji knew in the school. Neji eyed up Ino's legs, mostly left bare by her mini-skirt. Once he reached her exposed midriff, however, he averted his eyes. She needed to eat - her ribs were blatantly showing. Neji turned hopeful eyes on the other blond with Uzumaki but looked no further when he saw the Akatsuki cloak. The best way to deal with the Akatsuki was to avoid them completely.

Uzumaki obviously didn't get the memo.

Although Deidara did have a soft spot for Uzumaki - perhaps because they were both such unique people. Neji finally looked at Uzumaki and promptly stopped dead in his tracks.

The boy was wrapped in caution tape. Some of it was wrapped around his bare torso. His classic orange jacket was slung casually around his shoulders. He was also wearing an extremely short skirt made of caution tape and fishnet stockings. One his feet were blue sandals and he had a strip of caution tape tied around his head, the ends carelessly straggling down his back.

He looked absolutely ridiculous.

However Neji had to admit he had very nice legs. So nice Neji kept staring at them until the trio turned the corner and disappeared.

Shaking his head, Neji continued on his way. Mentally he thanked God yet again for making him a year older than Uzumaki. If Uzumaki was in his classes Neji knew he wouldn't be able to concentrate - he'd be too busy staring.

He managed to put the other boy out of his mind for the rest of the day - until period five, at least. As he walked into the gym his teacher - Gai-sensei - ambushed him.

"Neji! How lovely it is to see you on this fine day! Today will be a great test of endurance and skill and -"

"Uh, that's great, Gai-sensei," Neji mumbled. "I'd better go get changed." Anything to get away from the self-proclaimed 'Beautiful Green Beast of Konoha College'.

"Wonderful! Your enthusiasm shines as bright as a thousand suns! You have truly -

Gai cut himself off when he realised Neji was no longer in front of him. Confused, he looked around and saw Neji scurry into the boys' changing rooms. Misty-eyed he pounced on the next poor soul to walk into the gym.

Ten minutes later the class was sitting on the floor while Gai-sensei paced in front of them.

"I have challenged Kakashi!" he announced. "Today we face his class with a most glorious match of a most noble sport!" His class all looked at him cynically. They had learned quite early on that his opinions of what constituted a noble sport differed enormously from theirs.

"Dodgeball!" he trumpeted and struck a pose not unlike one a comic book superhero would make. Unlike a superhero, however, he wasn't rewarded with cheers and praise; instead he was hit with a chorus of moans. Before he could unleash another tirade, the door flew open and Kakashi slouched in, his class reluctantly trickling in behind him.

"Afternoon, Gai-sensei," Kakashi murmured, his eyes fixed on his ever-present book. He was a stark contrast to Gai who was practically vibrating on the spot with pent-up emotions. Then they suddenly exploded from him in a great rush of words.

Neji tuned him out and exchanged long-suffering looks with one of his classmates, Tenten. She was a nice girl, except when she was doing something violent. He still had the bruises from being her sparring partner during their martial arts unit.

While Gai-sensei babbled on to a blissed-out Kakashi, Neji let his eyes wander over the other class. He recognised a few of them from the year below - he had hung out with them a few times which led to meeting their friends in their own year level. And then, to his horror, he saw Uzumaki who hadn't changed into his P.E. gear and was still wrapped in caution tape. As Neji stared Uzumaki shrugged his jacket off and revealed an endless expanse of tanned skin. It took Tenten shoving him to bring him back to earth and even then his mind tended to abandon him.

Neji thought he did quite well in the game. He stayed as far from Uzumaki as possible and forced himself to not look at said boy. For awhile he began to hope he could finish the period without embarrassing himself. Then Uzumaki ran across his line of vision and leaped to catch a ball. His body twisted artfully, showing off the tanned skin and lines of muscle quite beautifully. Neji's eyes went straight to the fishnet-clad legs and he froze.

Suddenly pain flared in his skull and he stumbled backwards, eyes watering. The culprit, a deceptively harmless-looking dodgeball bounced away. Uzumaki laughed his trademark laugh; loud and unashamed.

Gai-sensei came galloping onto the court and rapidly ushered a shell-shocked Neji off, rambling on about how he was a 'brave soldier' and how he'd 'suffered a noble defeat'. His talk went ignored as Neji was preferring to wallow in his pain and humiliation, simultaneously trying to forget the sight of Uzumaki's legs.

With a mumbled thanks Neji flopped down on a bench on the sidelines and accepted the ice-pack Gai-sensei had miraculously conjured up from somewhere. For all his oddities Gai-sensei was a good guy who genuinely cared about his students.

For the rest of the lesson Neji sat and sulked and occasionally shot dark looks at Uzumaki. Except they didn't stay dark looks for long; always - without fail - they were transformed into looks of blind adoration. Those quickly became scowls aimed at the floor.

The number of players on each side dwindled until it was Tenten and Lee against Uzumaki and Shikamaru, whom Neji had spent time with on occasion.

Lee and Tenten wasted no time in sending a barrage of balls at Shikamaru. The boy didn't even blink, preferring to standing still with slouched shoulders. He waited until all the balls connected before ambling off the court, muttering about pain being troublesome.

Well, at least some things never changed.

Neji had Uzumaki pegged as the loser of the game but to his immense surprise, five minutes later Lee and Tenten limped off the court. Uzumaki let out a huge victory cry which was echoed by his class. He began to leaping and twisting in some kind of victory dance and Neji forced himself to look away. Instead he stared moodily at the floor.

Until a pair of blue sandals appeared in his line of vision.

Startled he glanced up and found himself face-to-face with Uzumaki. Under his gaze Uzumaki shifted, squinted and reached up to scratch the back of his head. He flashed a bright grin at Neji which made his anger fade slightly.

But only slightly.

"Hey," Uzumaki began and fidgeted, "I'm sorry for hitting you in the head. And for laughing at you. Well, actually, I'm not sorry for laughing at you but Sasuke-bastard said that he would apologise if he was me. Except if he was me he wouldn't laugh at you because the stick up his ass is lodged too far in for him to show human emotion. Stupid bastard."

For a moment Neji could only gape at him. In the span of twenty seconds Uzumaki had insincerely apologised, admitted to taking pleasure in his pain, showed off his immature rivalry with Sasuke and subsequently insulted Neji's best friend. The anger didn't last long, though. At least Uzumaki was honest which was a welcome change from the hoards of sycophants that usually stalked him and Sasuke.

"Don't worry about it," he managed to mumble while trying not to look at the other boy.

"I do feel sorry, you know," Uzumaki said in a rare moment of sincerity, "even if Sasuke-bastard manipulated me into apologising."

He paused for a moment and then brightened considerably. "How about I buy you a frozen coke?"

Tempting. Neji adored frozen cokes. And the thought of a free one was irresistible. He promptly tried resisting temptation for all of two seconds, before glancing at the legs. Goddammit.

"All right," he said. "I'll go get changed."

Five minutes later they left the gym together and headed for gate four, expertly dodging the throngs of fellow students. The sound of hundreds of voices chattering filled the air, mingling with the sounds of nearby traffic. Neji's eyes slid past a couple shamelessly making out and landed on Sasuke who was gaping at the sight of him with Uzumaki. Neji lifted his hand in a lazy wave and disappeared into the stream of students filing out of the gate.

They didn't speak until they reached the gas station and that was just Uzumaki asking what size he wanted. The man at the counter greeted Uzumaki like an old friend; apparently the blonde was a regular customer here.

They headed down to the river that ran through the back of the school playing fields. There they settled, Uzumaki showing an unhealthy amount of thigh while doing so. Neji took a slurp of his treat and looked away,

"I like your outfit," Neji remarked with only a minimal amount of sarcasm in his voice, something that startled the both of them. Uzumaki laughed self-consciously and absently unwound his caution tape headband.

"Hidan dared me," he said, "'Cause I lost a bet." Neji thought for a moment, trying to connect the name to a face. Finally he remembered the masochistic, hot-tempered albino Akatsuki member. The question was on the tip of his tongue but he forced it back. He really didn't want to know what the bet had been.

The time it took to finish their frozen cokes was spent in silence, neither of them knowing quite what to say to each other. Uzumaki was a first to finish and he announced this fact with obnoxious slurping noises as he tried to get the remnants at the bottom. Eventually he recognised it a futile mission and scrambled ungracefully to his feet. To Neji's surprise he didn't say goodbye and dart off like what Neji had seen the blonde do on numerous occasions. Instead he swayed uncertainly for a long moment.

"Hey, Neji?" Uzumaki asked and his voice had a strange tone to it. It sounded like he was nervous or expectant - or hesitant or excited. Or maybe he should stop trying to push Uzumaki into a classifiable category because it was obvious he wouldn't fit. Instead he would ooze over to fill all the categories at once. Normally Neji didn't like people like that but...

Finally it occurred to him that he should answer so he looked up from his intense study of a spastic ant and murmured something incomprehensible. Then he closed his lips over his straw and slurped up his rapidly melting frozen coke. The way Uzumaki's eyes lingered on his lips made him antsy but he didn't really think much of it. It was Uzumaki after all.

Uzumaki shifted his weight from foot-to-foot for a few long moments, biting his lip and looking indecisive. Then he appeared to come to a conclusion or find courage. One of the two. In one quick moment he swooped down and pressed his lips against Nejis'.

Neji froze, too stunned to outwardly react. The kiss only lasted a few seconds; then Uzumaki pulled away but only slightly. His face was only inches from Neji's own and he could smell the other boy's breath, warm-sweet from the treat they had both experienced.

"Wha-why?" Neji managed to croak out. With his peripheral vision he caught Uzumaki smile brightly.

"Caution tape makes you do strange things," was all he said. He slung what had been his headband around Neji's neck and then turned and began scrambling up the bank.

"See you on Monday!" Naruto yelled over his shoulder.

Neji didn't bother with an answer. He had a feeling Uzumaki would understand. Perhaps he should start calling him Naruto? It was a strange name but it fit the boy, like names often end up doing.

On his way home he toyed with the caution tape still slung around his neck. Maybe playing dodgeball as a result of Gai-sensei's ridiculous rivalry with Kakashi had its benefits.


End file.
